December 3, 2014

Hey bikers, GET OFF THE ROAD!

bicycle.jpgWith the sports world being ever so boring right now, I’m gonna take this time to vent.

You stupid packs of people that like to ride your bikes on the street, GET OFF THE ROAD!! Seriously, get off. I don’t like to share the road.

PHOTO CAPTION: If you see a group of bikers like this, annoy them.

You get up in the morning and put your dumb little Spandex shorts on and your dumb little Spandex shirts on. Wow, neat uniform you got on there. Then you hop on your 10-speed bike or whatever and ride to meet all your annoying buddies that are dressed in their Spandex body painted athletic gear, too. Then you decide to ride on the street in front of people in cars that are trying to get somewhere. I want to stop my car in front of you and open my door so you crash right into it. Get a motorcycle you tools. You are not wanted on the streets. Go to a park or something where you aren’t in the way. I will honk my horn to distract you every single time I pass you in my car. I will try to get as close to you as possible without hitting you to throw you off your rhythm; hopefully, scaring you so you move over and your tire hits the edge of the street causing your wheel to turn and you to fall off. I will get in front of you and slow my car down and not allow you to pass to show you how it feels. I will throw my beer can at you when I’m finished drinking it. My buddy in the passenger seat will try to reach out and slap you. I will yell obscenities.

You are annoying, so I will be annoying. GET OFF THE ROAD YOU ANNOYING BIKERS!!!!