Joel Glass said Nelson’s shoulder rehabilitation, which has sidelined him since February, has been moving forward ahead of schedule but his status is still uncertain for the series against the Los Angeles Lakers.

Nelson suffered what was called a season-ending shoulder tear, but team president Bob Vander Weide told The Orlando Sentinel that he wants Nelson to take another MRI and consult with doctors for a possible comeback.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Manu used to wear the number 0 jersey.

This is a huge blow to a Spurs team that may have been able to beat Los Angeles this year, but most likely not.  During the past couple seasons, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have dominated the four-time champions.

To replace the injured guard, Spurs GM R. C. Buford is looking to resign retired Hall of Famer David Robinson to a 20-game contract.

Police smelled booze inside the car and promptly arrested him. He was later free on $5,000 bail.

Earlier this week Iverson whined about coming off the bench and that he’d rather retire than become a team player.  Throughout Iverson’s career it has always been about him.  He’s shown up late for practices, whether it was for the Philadelphia 76ers or the United States Basketball team, or sometimes didn’t even show up at all.  He’s never had any respect for his coaches.  Larry Brown and Maurice Cheeks were the most famous of his victims.  And his selfishness on the court credited him with not being able to make any of his teammates better during his entire basketball career.

The NBA will be a better place if Allen Iverson retires after this year.

The Detroit Pistons knew what they were getting this year when they traded Chauncey Billups to the Denver Nuggets.  They didn’t acquire Allen Iverson.  They acquired his expiring contract.  Allen Iverson’s expiring contract is worth more than Allen Iverson.  When Iverson becomes a free agent this summer, he will quickly find out his services are not wanted anymore in the NBA.  There is not one contending team or playoff team that will sign him.

He is a cancer.  He is a plague.

The Philadelphia 76ers were not successful because of Allen Iverson, they were successful because of Larry Brown.  Larry Brown was able to surround Iverson with a team of unselfish players.  Players that didn’t care if Iverson dribbled the ball for 23 seconds before shooting.  Players that were capable of rebounding and defending and helping Iverson when he wasn’t able to defend.  And players who knew what their role was and played it to perfection.

In the meat of Allen Iverson’s career, he averaged almost 25 shots per game.  Way too many for a guard whose FG% was around 41%.  That is absolutely putrid and embarrassing.  Iverson will go down in the history books as one of the worst-shooting guards in NBA history.  Eric Snow has the same career FG% as Allen Iverson.  And 76er’s fans know how horrible of a shooter Eric Snow was.

I understand there is a huge Iverson following and they have supported him on and off the court.  They love him.  They cherish him.  But these are the people that don’t understand how the game of basketball is supposed to be played.  It’s played as a team and Iverson is not a team player.  He never was and he never will want to be.

When he finally retires, hopefully after this year, the NBA will be a better place.

While the Lakers were getting a beat down by the Atlanta Hawks this past Sunday, Andrew Bynum was partying in Los Angeles with Playmate Nicole Narain atop his shoulders.  Maybe he was looking for another injured-NBA star with a big-boobed hussy to chicken fight?  However, no other NBA star was found.  Why?  Cause Bynum’s the only idiot.

PHOTO CAPTION:  I would let Nicole Narain sit on more than just my shoulders.

In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if Bynum plays or doesn’t play, the Los Angeles Lakers are not winning the NBA championship this year.  This is Lebron’s year.  This is Cleveland’s year.  I will put my money on a team (and yes, they are a team.  It’s not just Lebron *coughs* but mostly Lebron) that is 36-1 at home.

So, Bynum, keep on partying while you can, because you sure won’t be after the NBA Finals.

Thanks to P Peppers for the heads up on this.

Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace was suspended for one game for committing too many technical fouls.  He picked up his 16th technical foul last night against Cleveland.  Cleveland has won 13 straight games, so I am assuming Detroit lost to Cleveland last night?  The game Sheed will miss already happened, which was tonight, so make sure you take him out of your fantasy lineups.

More importantly, The Monkey Turds have scored 1 point for having Rasheed Wallace on their roster and Bangbros have scored 1 point for having the Detroit Pistons on their roster.

Updated standings:

Mr. Peppers sent us this link and we like it. We’ve made friends now and we hope he’ll continue to take us (and when I say “us,” I mean “me.” Remember I said he likes Perry) to task with our NBA opinions.

Photo Caption: It’s this kind of athleticism that makes Iggie so much fun to watch. I stand by my comments though that I want him to be a better jump shooter.

We copied and pasted his list for you because we know how lazy our readers are:

- Brian Dawkins Signs With Denver Broncos

- Brett Myers works a 9 pitch walk from C.C. Sabathia and draws a standing ovation

- World Ph#$#ing Champions!!!

- McNabb is benched at Halftime

- World Series clinching game takes 4 days to play

- Billy King is hired as an analyst for NBA TV

- Marty Biron “stands on his head”

- Eagles go with defensive tackle as #1 FB

- Hank Baskett bags a Playmate

- Eagles fans want Kolb instead of McNabb (Note: Not all of them, but seriously?)

- After hitting a huge pinch hit home run in the NLCS Matt Stairs says, “When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting your ass hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done.”

- Willie Green is a starting 2 guard in the NBA (sorry, couldn’t help it)

- Tony DiLeo is Sixers new head coach

- Jimmy Rollins is DH behind Derek Jeter for Team U.S.A.

- Terrell Owens is in Buffalo

- Jay Cutler wants out of Denver

- Alex Rodriguez took steroids (Wait, nevermind, we all knew that)

- Isaiah Thomas may be hired by Clippers

- Arizona Cardinals play in a Super Bowl

The bone isn’t broken, but MRI results show a sprain and a bone bruise. The young superstar, who will never fully blossom as a Sixer due to Andre Iguodala’s big contract and inability to play in a half-court offense, is on crutches.

“I spoke to Thad at halftime (of the Atlanta game),” coach Tony DiLeo said at practice earlier today. “He was down. He’s been playing at a high level. He’s just disappointed, and a little apprehensive.”

Calipari will receive an eight-year, $31.65 million deal plus incentives, according to the university, making him the highest-paid coach in college basketball. The school also will pay Memphis a $200,000 buyout.

Calipari once called Dan Garcia, a reporter for The Star-Ledger, a “Mexican Idiot.”  That was 12 years ago.  It’s not relevant anymore, so don’t bring it up.

One of the rules states:

Bill Romanowski Rule: If a player is fined by the team or league he plays for, that player shall receive points based on the dollar amount of the fine multiplied by .10% up to a maximum of 30 points. This rule also applies to a player getting suspended without pay where the fine equals the loss in salary. This rule does not apply to a player holding out.

Mark Cuban is on the Saluky Turds roster and he has collected 2.5 points.

Also picking up points last week was Sheriff Joe Arpaios Inmates for the arrest of Oakland Raider Cornell Green.  Arpaios Inmates has Oakland on their roster.  1 point was collected.

Updated standings.

Gilbert has been battling a left-knee injury for the past couple seasons and has undergone three surgeries in an 18-month span to try to correct the problem.  Nothing has been said about fixing his problem with shooting the ball so damn much.

PHOTO CAPTION:  This is Gilbert’s favorite play call.

“The plan was Saturday, and we’re still working towards that end,” interim coach Ed Tapscott said. “As we’ve got it planned out right now, he’s going to play in selective games and no back-to-backs. As we work through the process of making sure that, as he comes back, we do it in a way that is beneficial to his health and our team development.”

The Wizards couldn’t ask for a better time for Arenas to come back.  Gilbert will look to help Washington make their final playoff push.  The Wizards, 16-56, are only 18 games back from the eighth-seeded Chicago Bulls with 10 games left to play.  Good luck!!

The point guard was a major factor in UNC’s second round victory over LSU scoring 23 points with six assists and providing the much-needed energy for the Tar Heels to hold off the hungry Tigers.  Without Lawson manning the point it will be very tough for the Tar Heels to keep on advancing.

Lawson is the second-best point guard remaining in the NCAA tournament behind Syracuse sophomore Jonny Flynn.

This is the kind of person Allen Iverson is:

Bar patron Marlin Godfrey accused Iverson’s bodyguard, Jason Kane, of punching, kicking and hitting him with a bottle because he refused to vacate the VIP section at Washington club Eyebar to make way for the basketball star and his entourage. Godfrey suffered a concussion, a ruptured eardrum, a burst blood vessel in his eye, a torn rotator cuff, cuts and bruises, and emotional injuries.  Iverson just stood there and did nothing, watching Godfrey get the living crap beat out of him.

PHOTO CAPTION:  Dude, you’re 33, grow up.  Do something good for the community.

I understand this happened in 2005, but what we all know by now is Allen Iverson doesn’t change.  He is still the selfish basketball player on the court and the loser thug off the court.  I’m sure after Iverson retires from the NBA (couldn’t come soon enough), that he will either find himself in jail or somehow waste all his money and file for bankruptcy.

How many millions of people wish they could now go back and change their brackets? Chattanooga is already out and running. As of this post it’s 2-0 and they are headed to the free throw line. This game is over.

UPDATE: There is 18:49 left in the first half and UConn has yet to score.

There is a collective sigh across offices all over the country by so many folks that had Memphis winning it all. Still wouldn’t be thrilled at this point by that pick.

Vice president of player personnel Rex Chapman didn’t elaborate on what Anthony did and reporters sitting courtside didn’t see anything, but Chapman had this to say, “There is a code of conduct that we take very seriously, especially from a leader and co-captain.  Carmelo knows this and regrets what happened. He is a very competitive person and made a poor decision in the heat of the moment. We look forward to having him back on Thursday and will have no further comment at this time.”

Speculation is that he refused to come out of the game in the third quarter.

Anyway, Gangstas For Life scored 1 point for Melo’s suspension for having Melo on their roster.

Ron Artest Rule: A player shall receive 1 point for every game he is suspended up to a maximum of 16 points per suspension. If the player is suspended during the playoffs or the suspension carries over into the playoffs, the same rules apply and 2 bonus points are awarded.

Updated standings

However, the good thing for the Detroit Pistons is Allen Iverson’s hurt and Richard Hamilton is finally back in the starting lineup, where he so rightfully belongs.  Detroit was 4-12 with Rip coming off the bench.  And now with Allen Iverson riding the bench with a stiff back, the Pistons are finally playing good basketball winning their last two games including a 105-95 victory today over the World Champion Boston Celtics.

If the Pistons want to have a chance in making any sort of run in this years’ playoffs, they should keep Allen Iverson off the court for as long as they can.  Hopefully, his stiff back will hold him out for the remainder of the season.  And if not, there is no way Allen should be inserted back into the starting lineup.

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The Boston Celtics can win without him and they have.  Actually, they are better suited to repeat as NBA champions with him not on the roster.  He sucks.

PHOTO CAPTION: “I’m as worthless as Steve Francis.”

It is quite possible that Stephon’s addition to the Celtics’ roster will now make the Cleveland Cavaliers the favorite to represent the East.

The only ‘breaking news’ about this story is from all the money being involved and that the New York Knicks were part of the deal.  The Celtics are better off playing Sam Cassell.

Barkley plead guilty to two counts of driving under the influence and pleaded “responsible” to running a stop sign in the Scottsdale incident.

Barkley was sentenced to 10 days in jail, but will only serve five if he completes an alcohol education program. He was also fined $2,000.

Owner, Jerry Buss

PHOTO CAPTION:  “I’m a lock for the All-NBA All-DUI third team.”

Coach, Eric Musselman:  On October 21, 2006, four months into his new head-coaching gig with the Sacramento Kings, Eric was cited for misdemeanor driving under the influence after getting pulled over in his Mercedes.  When I say ‘four months in’ I don’t mean into the season.  He hadn’t even coached a single, regular-season game before failing three sobriety tests and having a blood-alcohol level of .11.  Can’t be drinking and driving while  trying to make a right-hand turn from the left-hand lane, right Eric?  More importantly, Eric beat out his competition for this honor because he has coached some of the players on this very team.

Point Guard, Stephon Marbury:  On February 08, 2002, Stephon, who is currently hogging all of the economic bailout money, was booked into a city jail on charges of extreme DUI, DUI and speeding.  Extreme DUI you say?  Yes, this is when you have a blood alcohol level of .15 or higher in the state of Arizona.  Marbury, formerly known as ‘Starbury’ when he used to good at basketball, registered a .153.  Stephon’s ability to weave in and out of traffic and maintain a pace at high speeds is why he was awarded this roster spot.

Shooting Guard, Jason Richardson:  Just this past December on the 21st, Mr. Richardson was accused of driving under the influence of alcohol, failure to drive in one lane, and speeding.  Failure to drive in one lane?  There’s more than one lane to the basket my friends, and Jason is sure to find them.  On the Loop 101 freeway in Arizona he was pulled over in his 2008 Mercedes Benz.  Am I the only one that sees a pattern here?  Mercedes’ are either hard to drive while you’re drunk or definite cop magnets.  Furthermore, Jason was coached by Eric Musselman while playing for the Golden State Warriors in 2002-04, so he definitely understands the system.

Small Forward, Carmelo Anthony:  In April of 2008, Carmelo was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence.  After being pulled over for weaving and not dimming his lights, he failed a series of sobriety tests (it was not reported if it was a best-of-seven series, where Carmelo is very used to failing, never getting out of the first round).  ‘Melo, ironically at a ‘mellow’ state of mind, was charged with DUI, making him a lock at the small forward position.  For the record, Anthony was driving a Mercedes.

Power Forward, Charles Barkley:  If you haven’t heard, this past New Years, Sir Charles was arrested, cited and released on suspicion of misdemeanor DUI and being impaired to the slightest degree.  After being pulled over in his Mercedes black Infinity SUV, he told police he was in a hurry to receive oral sex, or in layman’s terms ’sex in the mouth.’  Fortunately, Charles will also be the basketball analyst along side two football analysts making the leap over to basketball, DUI legends Warren Moon and Ken Stabler.

Center, Manute Bol:  Almost 21 years ago, 7′ 6″ Manute Bol was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated and resisting arrest.  Bol, 25 at the time, allegedly did not yield to fire trucks.  But in his defense, do they have fire trucks in the Sudan?  And with the whole resisting arrest thing, is anyone else picturing what I’m picturing?  A 7-6 Manute Bol getting out of a tiny 1988 Jetta, resisting arrest, and throwing punches at the cops who pulled him over?  Is Shawn Bradley one of the cops?  Anyway, why such a dark horse at center?  Easy, Manute was coached by Eric Musselman when he was on the West Palm Beachdogs (CBA) in the mid ’90s.

Feel free to chime in with anyone more deserving.

Hughes was in the doghouse with the Bulls and they agreed to seek a trade a few weeks ago. Hughes and Thomas have now played for a total of 53 teams.

PHOTO CAPTION: “Look at those titties!”