April 6, 2009 by Micah Warren
Former Jacksonville Jaguars first-round pick and current free agent WR Reggie Williams was arrested Sunday night in Houston on felony drug charges. The substance is believed to be cocaine (he did play with Matt Jones after all) and he even had to be tasered, which means he was most likely fully cooperating with police. [...]
Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace was suspended for one game for committing too many technical fouls. He picked up his 16th technical foul last night against Cleveland. Cleveland has won 13 straight games, so I am assuming Detroit lost to Cleveland last night? The game Sheed will miss already happened, which was tonight, so make [...]
March 30, 2009 by Perry
The NBA slapped Mavericks owner Mark Cuban with a $25,000 fine Sunday for publicly criticizing the officials after Denver’s 103-101 win over Dallas.
One of the rules states:
Bill Romanowski Rule: If a player is fined by the team or league he plays for, that player shall receive points based on the dollar amount of the fine [...]
March 17, 2009 by Perry
Stephen Jackson picked up his 16th technical foul of the season during the Golden State Warriors’ 154-131 loss to the Phoenix Suns on Sunday. The number 16 is the magical figure that gets you suspended for one game in the NBA. Therefore, for having Stephen Jackson on their roster, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates scored 1 [...]
March 17, 2009 by Perry
As expected, the Monkey Turds and Touchdown Turdy Vardell collected more points stemming from the Matt Jones arrest. Matt Jones went to jail over the weekend and also was kicked off the Jacksonville Jaguars for being too much of a turd. Both Fantasy Turd teams have the Jacksonville Jaguars on their roster, so they each [...]
March 11, 2009 by Perry
Colon Blowers
NFL: Terrell Owens, Bills
NBA: Allen Iverson, Pistons
NHL: Mike Ribeiro, Stars
MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers
NON: Zach Greer, Lacrosse
Team: Cincinnati Bengals
Flex: Paul Pierce, Celtics
Flex: Adrian Peterson, Vikings
Flex: Steve Nash, Suns
Flex: Cedric Benson, Bengals
Check out the other teams here.
March 10, 2009 by Perry
Nobody had Matt Jones in our Fantasy Turd League, however, owners of the Monkey Turds and Touchdown Turdy Vardell both have the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Matt Jones was arrested again for alcohol use, violating his probabtion. Therefore, due to the Stephen Jackson rule and the Cincinnati Bengal rule, both Fantasy Turd League teams scored 1 point with more [...]
The Denver Nuggets have suspended Carmelo Anthony for one game for an “in-game transgression” Sunday against Indiana.
Vice president of player personnel Rex Chapman didn’t elaborate on what Anthony did and reporters sitting courtside didn’t see anything, but Chapman had this to say, “There is a code of conduct that we take very seriously, especially from [...]
March 1, 2009 by Perry
Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace was fined $25,000 by the league Friday for his actions after his ejection in the team’s 90-87 loss at New Orleans on Wednesday night.
Therefore, the Monkey Turds have scored 2.5 points, because Rasheed Wallace is on their roster, based on this rule:
Bill Romanowski Rule: If a player is fined by [...]
February 17, 2009 by Perry
Due to the Gerald Sensabaugh arrest, two teams in our Fantasy Turd League have scored points. Monkey Turds and Touchdown Turdy Vardell both have the Jacksonville Jaguars as their team on their roster.
Let’s review two rules:
Marshawn Lynch Rule: A player shall receive 1 point for every traffic violation. If that traffic violation includes speeding over [...]
February 17, 2009 by Micah Warren
Jacksonville Jaguars genius safety Gerald Sensabaugh has been arrested in his hometown (again) of Kingsport, Tennessee for driving with a suspended license.
He puts the “sense” in Sensabaugh. Funny, right?
But joketime aside, it wouldn’t be such a big deal if it wasn’t the third time in three years that he’s been arrested. Last year, [...]
February 4, 2009 by Micah Warren
Hello to all the new readers we’ve had the past few days. We hope we were sufficiently obnoxious/helpful/annoying/informative during that time. We’re here to serve you, the reader.
We’re working hard in the OTR newsroom to collect relevant sports information that you may or may not care about. Or flat-out don’t care about, [...]
January 25, 2009 by Perry
Anthony Spencer Rule: If a player is arrested for public intoxication or disorderly conduct, that player shall receive 2 points. If that player tried giving the bar money to stay open later, that player shall receive 5 bonus points.
This rule has been added to the Fantasy Turd League Point System.
January 17, 2009 by Perry
Mark Cuban has been fined $25,000 for walking onto the court and yelling at Nuggets guard J.R. Smith at halftime during Tuesday night’s game in Denver and for actions afterward, the league announced Friday.
One of the rules states:
Bill Romanowski Rule: If a player is fined by the team or league he plays for, that player [...]
January 12, 2009 by Perry
As states in the Articles of Fantasy Turd League…
Adding/Amending an Article Rule/Point System Rule: If any team owner would like to add an article rule or point system rule, they must present it to the designated league president for approval. However, the approval or disapproval can be overruled by a majority vote of the team [...]
January 12, 2009 by Perry
After a week of grueling meetings and long hours of discussion with OTR dog Mittens, it has been confirmed that Adam “Pacman” Jones was kicked off the Dallas Cowboys for being too much of a turd.
The Chris Henry Rule clearly states: If a player is kicked off his team for being too much of a [...]
January 12, 2009 by Perry
It is official with a five-out-of-six majority vote:
Jarkko Ruutu Rule: If a player decides to bite an opponent, and is suspended for that action, that player shall receive 5 points. If that player is successful in biting off what they were trying to bite, they shall receive 2 bonus points. If that player bites someone [...]
January 10, 2009 by Micah Warren
A judge plans to issue a bench warrant for the arrest of Lions LB Jordan Dizon for failing to show proof that he completed a community service program. He had to perform community service after getting busted for getting boozed up and driving a car.
Guess who has Dizon on his fantasy turd [...]
January 7, 2009 by Perry
As states in the Articles of Fantasy Turd League…
Adding/Amending an Article Rule/Point System Rule: If any team owner would like to add an article rule or point system rule, they must present it to the designated league president for approval. However, the approval or disapproval can be overruled by a majority vote of the team [...]
January 7, 2009 by Perry
Monkey Turds 27.5
Saluky Turds 10.7
Touchdown Turdy Vardell 4
Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates 2
Bangbros 2
Gangsta’s For Life 1
Colon Blowers 0
Review the team rosters here.
January 7, 2009 by Perry
In the first ever Fantasy Turd League, the Saluky Turds have scored the first ever points. Saluky Turd Jarkko Ruutu has been suspended for two games without pay, which will cost him $37,707 for an incident where he bit Buffalo Sabres Andrew Peters. The force of Ruutu’s bite ripped Peters’ glove off, broke the skin [...]
January 7, 2009 by Micah Warren
OTR is aware of the biting incident that has earned Ottawa Senator Jarkko Ruutu a meeting with the league. This may result in points for the Saluky Turds. OTR’s FTL committee is currently looking into the situation.
January 2, 2009 by Perry
The Fantasy Turd League has officially started as of the day before today which is commonly called, ‘yesterday.’ Let’s review all the teams and their respective turds:
Saluky Turds:
NFL: Philip Rivers, Chargers
NBA: Ron Artest, Rockets
NHL: Jarkko Ruutu, Senators
MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers
Team: Cincinnati Bengals
Non: Mark Cuban, owner
Flex: Terrell Owens, Bills
Flex: D. J. Strawberry, Suns
Flex: Jared Allen, Vikings
Flex: [...]
December 30, 2008 by Micah Warren
If you had Andre Rison in our Fantasy Turd League, you wouldn’t get any points because it’s not January 1st yet.
But the fact remains that he did get arrested early this morning at a San Antonio hotel for public intoxication. Apparently, he and a friend caused a scene at the Crown Plaza [...]
December 28, 2008 by Micah Warren
Scroll down to find a post with complete rules. There is still time to get into the Fantasy Turd League! Pick players that will get arrested! It’s great!
December 23, 2008 by Perry
Saluky Turds:
NFL: Philip Rivers, Chargers
NBA: Ron Artest, Rockets
NHL: Jarkko Ruutu, Senators
MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers (free agent)
Team: Cincinnati Bengals
Non: Mark Cuban, owner
Flex: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
Flex: D. J. Strawberry, Suns
Flex: Jared Allen, Vikings
Flex: Ray Lewis, Ravens
Other team(s): Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates, Gangsta’s For Life, Bangbros, Touchdown Turdy Vardell, Monkey Turds
To read more about OTR’s Fantasy Turd League [...]
December 22, 2008 by Perry
Monkey Turds:
NFL: Adam “Pacman” Jones, Cowboys
NBA: Allen Iverson, Pistons
NHL: Donald Brashear, Capitals
MLB: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers (free agent)
Team: Jacksonville Jaguars
Non: John Daly, PGA
Flex: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
Flex: Rasheed Wallace, Pistons
Flex: Darren McCarty, Red Wings
Flex: Milton Bradley, Rangers
Other team(s): Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates, Gangsta’s For Life, Bangbros, Touchdown Turdy Vardell
To read more about OTR’s Fantasy Turd League or [...]
December 21, 2008 by Micah Warren
Yeah, the title of this post pretty much says it all. Scoring for Turd League points will start on January 1st.
Photo Caption: Perry has put you on notice!
December 20, 2008 by Micah Warren
Micah’s team is:
* NFL: Bryant McKinnie, Vikings
* NBA: Ricky Davis, Clippers
* NHL: Erik Johnson, Blues
* MLB: Jose Guillen, Royals
* Team: Jacksonville Jaguars
* Non: Mike Tyson, former boxer
* Flex: Ahmad Brooks, 49ers
* Flex: O’Dell Thurman, Bengals
* Flex: Jordan Dizon, Lions
* Flex: Cedric Benson, Bengals
Other team(s): Sheriff [...]
December 20, 2008 by Perry
Bangbros:
NFL: Terrell Owens, Cowboys
NBA: Ron Artest, Rockets
NHL: Josh Bailey, Islanders
MLB: Matt Chico, Nationals
Team: Detroit Pistons
Non: Maradona, Argentina soccer coach
Flex: Allen Iverson, Pistons
Flex: Josh Howard, Mavericks
Flex: Jeremy Shockey, Saints
Flex: Stephon Marbury, Knicks
Other team(s): Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Inmates, Gangsta’s For Life, Touchdown Turdy Vardell
To read more about OTR’s Fantasy Turd League or to enter your team, please [...]
